Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Oh shit!

This one spl as this one’s about my sister who has been patient enough and has bared with me all these years.I can’t pose as a morning person but waking up early for a justified cause is not a Herculean task either for me.
But for my sis where waking at 7 am is a “necessary evil” as she has to commute to her destination which takes a while and she detests the very thought of setting the morning alarm.
I am pretty sure if she reads this blog my rating on her popularity charts is going to hit rock bottom not that it was ever at the pinnacle but somehow managed to be a single digit.
This one was way back in 2006 at Nepal where people wake up at 4 to enjoy the sunrises .
Our hotel had a stunning view of the snow covered peaks and my sister was convinced that looking at them at 9 am made up for not waking up at the unearthly hour of 3:30 to catch the sunrise at 4.
She even proposed to use Photoshop to get my pic with sunrise in the background but alas
what are family vacation for if you can’t bully your siblings into doing something … finally my sister consented to sit in the car at 3:30 (waking up was not part of the deal ).
My parents were somehow delayed with something at the reception.
So it was just me and my sis in the car.
I am wide awake, excited and ready to move.(She still hates me for this)
And since my sister refused to open her eyelid I had to step out of the car to enjoy the view.
In the horizon i saw a nepali coming with a mule carrying a backpack and a Australian walking beside him.
It sounded like the nepali was acting like a tourist guide for the Australian(His distinct nasal accent gave him away).
He pointed at peaks and shrubbery and gave extra sound effects with his description which were intermittently paused by mule hee’s and han’s.
My sister oblivious to the orchestra was in the car.
They were walking in our direction .The Australian was praising the beauty and was describing his own country to the nepali. The patriot in me couldn't resist and jumped right in the conversation about how beautiful India is and how diverse and beautiful is our natural flora and fauna.
The Australian was intrigued and turned his attention to me .The guide was patient and took the time to feed his mule.

My sister woke up due to the din. Looked bewildered. Paused .Looked at the Australian
“You might want to move or else you might be covered in poop”.

We turn back and notice that the mule’s tail was strategically in air and the Australian ‘s foot would break the poop’s fall to the ground.
He immediately moved away and was full of gratitude .
My sister smiled at him. Glared at me and politely slept off.

And as my sister says the Indian students would have been harassed 3 years back had she not foiled my plan to cover Australians in “Deep Shit “.
And she is pretty convinced this time too I have something to do with it.

Love you sis :)

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Clickty Click

Click click

Went the digicam as I had its sound on.I had already changed 4 sets of batterys last weekend when I was visiting the Big Apple.

I had gone with my gang and we reached Holiady Inn at 11 in night.I was too tired to change and staying awake late at night is definitely not on my resume.

So here I was all hungry,sleepy and too lazy to change so I announce that fine I would dine in my night suit .I mean whats the big deal as I had already planned to crash on my hotel bed the moment I returned …damn the bed was too inviting to let go.But as history repeats itself and in the war of gastronomic pleasures and dreams about gastronomic pleasures the former as always wins.

We had a good Turkish meal and I was all ready to hit the sack when one of my pal announces that we have to go to Times square which was apparently just 1 block away.

(I prefer reading menu cards to maps so i had to take his word for the direction and distance).

But wait,of all the things in the world last thing I wanted to do was to have to visit times square in my pyjamas.

But whats life without any twists.

Self assured that it would make some good memories ,we started for our destination.

The place was abuzz with people.

It was 1 o'clock at night.I was standing in the middle of Times square ,i took a 360 degree turn and i saw 36 different nationalities.Phew.What a cosmopolitan sight!!

Now back to preserving moments to memories business..

We saw a man 6.5ft all well built (6 or more packs am not sure was too busy ogling at mask).

He was dressed as Batman.

And we all thought that posing with Batman at Times Square made a good photo op.

We took our digicams out.Placed them in position.Decided the order in which we would go and take pix with him.Took the money out for tips.All preps done.Smiles on our faces .We are just about to step forward to ask him when another maiden 5.9 hot bombshell steps in and asks her hubby to click while she posed with him.

We wait.

Thats ok.

We were in no rush.

Next this is what we see :

Step 1:Mr Batman holds the girl in a tight hug.

Step 2:Mr Batman had lifts the girl in her arms.

Step 3:Mr Batman places the girl on his shoulder.

Step 4:Mr Batman holdes her above his head as if she was a pair of dumbells.


Step 5,6,7,8,9,10:

We look at each other.Close the cams.Keep the tips inside.Take a 180 degree turn .Walk really fast out of there.

Thank our lucky stars that the girl came before us.


:)

Did you have a bad day ??

Picked it up from a blog which picked it up from a forum!
Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office.I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel-powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea, heats it to a delightful temperature, then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my bum started to itch.So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my bum started to burn!I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my bum was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my bum.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my bum as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poo for two days because my bum was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your arse. Now repeat to yourself, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job. Remember whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!