Why are we sitting in the refrigerator ?

Why are we sitting in the refrigerator ? I asked Chinu (roomate/partners in crime) with one eyebrow lifted at an angle of 40'.
We`re not sitting in the refrigerator; we`re sitting in our living room she replied. This conversation took place during the recent cold wave that swept Scottsdale (Believe it or not Scottsdale actually got snow!!), the app on my phone read the temperature as 50 F making not just the living room but all the rooms of the house feel like the inside of a Ice box.
Teeth chattering in Morse code I marveled at this unique phenomenon of global warming. How had this global warming which was melting the Arctic ice cap and giving polar bears heatstroke all of a sudden become a global colding? What next??? Would they schedule the skiing and ice-skating events of the forthcoming Winter Olympics in the Mojave Desert in mid-July ?
However, environmentalists soon came up with a phrase which explained why the planet was freezing over even as it was heating up; it was an example of what they call Extreme Weather Events (EWEs). Thanks to global warming the Earth would increasingly experience extremes of weather; unusually hot hot waves, unusually cold cold waves.
As we huddled in front of the fireplace , both of us bundled up in woollies, Mili my pet ant (We met during my camping trip and I mused on the wondrous laws of Nature which could turn global warmth into global freeze, all as part of the day`s work and no overtime either. How cool or how globally warm was that. How cool indeed, Mili wiggled in acknowledgment, an icicle forming on the tip of her nose .As we shivered and shuddered in sympathetic unison, it struck me maybe if I go on a virtual expedition on google maps in the warm sunny beaches of Macau the placebo effect might kick in. Google can you please launch FIBRE in Scottsdale sooner, my fantasy for soaking in the sun needs to be supported by sonic speed

Larry and Sergey are you guys listening ??
=)

Chase

Baseball and football are in the air .Every YouTube video you stream is first accompanied by initial 30 second of Foosball advertisement which you can’t even skip .All the sports bars and grills are overflowing with sports fanatics who duly tip the bar tender for every touchdown .Our team at work decided to go for a diamondback game as well to Chase field. We all got tickets and duly chose to sit next to each other and avoided the "not so close" to the other end .We wooted our plans on facebook and set off.Correction the whole unit set off, I had a call with folks in UK .The poor chap was supporting me at his midnight i did not have the heart to tell him that i preferred  the game to his status updates(don’t read this blog BOB :)) so i stayed back till i completed my virtual meeting .After the meeting i realized that i had given my car for detailing and viola no mode of transport .I called one of my chums and asked where they were, fortunately the bus had just left so all i had to do was catch up . As i grabbed my Gucci and stepped out of the building spotting the sharp nosed driver with a ruddy familiar Indian (south Asian Indian not native Indian ) face was such a relief.
I got in the back seat and asked him to drive till the destination.
We drove for a couple of minutes and we spotted the white bus , i asked the cab driver to follow the bus. I called my pal to stop the bus but apparently the order of traffic lights didn’t quite agree. There was a time when the bus did really slow down and so did my driver. The bus picked up pace and so did the cab.The bus again slowed down and again so did my driver that's when i realized that my driver was actually just following the bus and not driving so that i could get on the bus.
BA-DING!!
Oh man .I clarified and the bus did pause and the driver (i have no clue why) chose to halt the cab right in front of the bus at an angle (rajnikanth style).I was aghast, what if the bus driver had not completely pressed the brakes, i would have been dog luncheon .I looked at the driver ,he  had such keen sense of achievement on his face .I am sure he was convinced that his Transporter fatal stunt had stopped the bus ( Sania i know you stopped the bus but his broad smile was too warm to break) . Anyways still in one piece i climbed in the bus and thankfully had a less eventful ride to the Chase field/venue.
The cheerleaders were the highlight of the game. The big screen boomed with scores and recaps and perky sport-o-holics.Our seats were really good in fact i was afraid that if the players jumped too hard their sweat gland excretions could be our popcorn topping .Ew .Ew. Foursquare updates and tags punched throughout the game. After 2 hours of an exciting game

The diamondbacks won .YAYY!!.

I was enjoying the Chocolate covered apple (with sprinkles) stuck in my teeth as I stepped out with my team and guess what, the mascot was giving out freebies to peeps .I took one for BOB (the guy whom i was on call with and missed the bus - before my adventure began).
So friends if your name is BOB as well send me your mailing address and i will pass on the freebies.

And while you are at it could you mail me the 16 digits in front of you CC and just the last 3 digits at the back .What are 19 digits amongst buddies right ? :)

Rapunzel or Persis Khambatta

Arizona’s heat is inspiring me to make omelets on the way to office on the car bonnet.

A four minute ride's enough to cook the egg and it saves me time too. Any takers ??

Last Saturday we went hiking, we scaled camelback and I was mostly inspired by an

Arnold Schwarzenegger clone who carried his Chihuahua in a rucksack with him while he hiked and growled (the Chihuahua not the man ) at me, every time I paused .

We were famished from our hike and raided Denny’s (that’s an eatery where ppl go more for the hospitality than the food).We ate a mouthful and realized that we had ordered much more than we could eat, so I offered to get boxes to pack .The moment the boxes arrived ,nobody wanted to take anything so we decided that we were better off taking the ketchup, salt and pepper shaker and the plastic forks. Somebody wanted to pack the waitress as well but realized the box was too small.

Lesson learnt : Go to a place which has bigger ‘to go’ boxes, and good service as well.

So with all this heat and sweat I decided to take a plunge into the pool in the evening .

The lights were dim and the ambience, relaxing. Tempting probably, is the word.

All was quiet when a big troop of teenagers decided that they needed to spend the evening near the pool too .A quiet group of nice folks who were not too raucous.

My muscles ached and Russell Peters' series was on my mind so i stepped out.

I removed my swim cap. And I heard,

"I thought she was bald"

"Yeh." Hmm...voices in agreement.

Oops! The last thing I thought I would I ever hear. Guess the dim lights did the trick.

I am busy tying my sarong. I loosen my hair off the sarong and I hear

‘wooooooooo’.

So within an instant, I went from bald to a "wooo" object.

(And all you mean souls out there the ‘woo’ was for my hair and not for anybody else..so don’t you write nasty comments and take the fun out)

If this post had hints of narcissism in it I can’t help it. :D

Nothing "hat ke" abt it

Before I start ,I think I am going to use this place to register my complains…This is not fair… I started writing blogs a fortnight ago…and the same time aamir ,srk n amitabh decide to highlight their blogs …what’s going on huh…can’t you guys think of something else…
mera idea copy karma jaruri tha…damn…

Anyways..moving on and displaying proofs of my magnanimous heart am going to continue writing….

This weekend was spent admiring the innovative and not so creative minds of many…
Before I start Emran Hasmi is not my favourite hero..and if he continues not to shave,he will always remain in my “Heros I don’t like” list.
Us gareeb ko koi ek razor gift kardo…the entire movie he seemed to belong to the “Hagar the Horrible clan”..I mean Sunday ko hum bhi is clan mein shamil ho jate hai..aur Fa deo ko hi ganga jal mante hai…but this fellow looked so filthy all the time(ab sari movie sunday ko to nahi ho shoot ki hogi na… )

We had nothing to do,So all we did was harp about our plans to watch the movie and we started inviting people we thought would go as a suraj barjatiya production house with all friends singing “Yeh Dosti”(I know this song does not belong to that production house) Reminder calls from all four of us started pouring in to the guy who was supposed to get the tickets. As the guy has haunting bad history of forgetting things (amnesia seems to be part of his lifestyle…) and when he did prove all our theories wrong ..and did some thing to be included in the “Ripleys bielieve ir or not” then the calls start coming in of people not able to make it ..arghhh..ab 10 tickets ka kya kare…Now mithun inspired indigenous ideas of ticket black karte hai started popping..(psst..This one of the suggestions from the book …WHO wants to be a millionaire)..and for some reason we were quite successful in selling 6..(nahi black nahi ki utne mein hi di)…ab baki chaar ka kya karein so we thought maybe if we guys asked our friend to tie a hankie around his neck.btw .he was already wearing a shirt that gave govinda a complex…that could do the trick…hmmm so our friend started and started ek ka char ,…ek ka char….(Now what are you expecting …Indian police ka entry…nahi nahi..)
The movie started and we said dump it..

We started and I soon realized that the best part of the movie were the initial 15 min where all we could think of was kurkare..popcorn(mujhe bahut kam mile..sob..)..mazaa....lays(am doing some free advt…do we have a system of making money by my stating their names here??)……han han hum wahan khane gaye the..movie to bas ase hi.

And after we had convinced people around us that we have just returned from Ethopia.
There was this strange sound……… “GRRRRRRrrrrr”…..we were all puzzled,as it is the movie was remotely engrossing and we were all energetic with all the carbohydrates and fat breaking down inside us .
Then it came again… “GrrGrrrGrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”…aha the karamchand (minus secretary kitty) in me took over and I started the investigation and I soon realized “yeh hai India meri Jaan”
The AC vent above our seats was just the exterior grill and you could take the grill off and there was apna Hindustani desert cooler moving in full swing…

Now the side wali auntys who am sure were the source of all those air contamination (she had gobi ke parateh ) were getting all sentimental …heroine ro rahi thi na…aunty bas bas ab hamare ghar mein pani aati hai ..

I am not going to write about the couple (privacy ka to koi zamana hai hi nahi)

The lessons we learnt were that the reason our company pays us less is because it doesn’t want us to turn blind with wealth (yaar koi mere CEO ko yeh link paas karo…promotion due hai) ..wah wah…

The moment the credits appeared in the end it was as if the whole hall was waiting for the moment, every body sprung up. I mean no body even paused back on their seats to
say” Nice na”…”so cute”…or the ugly ones like “is producer @#$$%” sochte kya hai”$$%%^”..and I woke up too…(ab AC hall mein sona is much better than getting bored)

So out we came after the flick and saw IPL on the screens (this is similar to the scenes in the flick) and me Hashmi inspired uttered, “I think Punjab will win(this has nothing to do with my Punjabi roots..ESP is the word)…and asked my roommate “RATE kya hai BET ka.”.she replied “u washing 4 utensils to one”(We suspect our maid is holidaying in Bahamas considering the floral prints she has been sporting and has convinced us that she is attending to an old relative..na na I think its Bahamas only..)
So the moment we entered our flat. I was (no points for guessing) doing all the washing..

And thinking har koi hasmi nahi ban sakta (and thank god for that).