MRP

Reading about the FDI in retail in India makes me wonder if actually the advent of the BIG wigs would wipe the small kirana shops in India. There is a 10ft by 5ft kirana shop (with a big curtain as the backdrop) near our house. The owner looks like # 3 in the 6 stage Darwin evolution theory pictures .

In his tiny shop irrespective of what you ask for he has it all and at all times.

(Not that i have ever asked for firearms to verify the completeness of his stock but i still wonder if there is tunnel connected to a supermarket behind that curtain ).

Irrespective of his looks i know running a store can be hard work, as i discovered on my first visit to "Sukriti" boutique, during a trip to Los Angles . It was delivery day and a large van was parked in front of the shop. The driver was unloading goods from the wholesale warehouse and piling them on the pavement. From here, the boxes and crates had to be carried into the store, unpacked, and their contents put on the shelves. While my cousin did the unpacking and shelving, she had hired a couple of college kids to do the heavy work of lugging the boxes into the shop. To help out, i picked up a bag of tissue and carried it in. Assuming that i too had been employed for the chore, the two kids began to pile more and more of the boxes and crates on me: C'mon, don't be so feeble and carry only two of those, take that third

box as well. Under a triple load of silk, cotton , i staggered into the shop under the direction of kids who had promoted themselves from labor to managerial supervisors: Easy now; put it down gently, don't break anything.I was carrying in my fourth — or it might have been fifth load — when Shilpa spotted me from the rear of the shop and came rushing up. She yelled at the kids. She's not the hired help; she's my sister! You're the hired help, said Shilpa. My self-appointed supervisors mumbled apologies, which i brushed aside. Sukriti was a family enterprise, in which all the family pitched in to help. And as a sister , it wasn't just my job but my pleasure to lend a hand. 

Shilpa minded the till and chatted with customers as they came up to pay: How are you today, luv? Got over that nasty cold you had last week, i'm glad to see. And how's your daughter doing at university? Coming down for the holidays, is she then? Good company for you, so nice when the children come home.

This was what Sukriti — and the thousands of such across the country — had to offer which the big supermarket chains didn't: conversation and human contact, no matter how brief. Each customer was a known face, a remembered name. And in an increasingly impersonal society, where anonymity is the norm, this made all the difference.

How do you put a MRP on that. 

=)

A case study:Indian paunch

Objective:To visit the temple.

Achievement:Me and my sister manged to get up early.Like 5 am early.(oooooooo...ahhh...whistles..applause)
Scenario:We are sitting at the back of our car and driving through the parking lot of a temple.
View from our car window:A young couple has come down to get their new car blessed .The priest who was performing the ceremony stood a 5.4’’ ,300 lb whose only clothing was the lungi .He had a lot of body hair (looked like a fur coat) but his head was shaved and was shining bright. In fact for some reason the sun and the surrounding shadows from the trees seemed to make the world map on his head. He had his eye shut and was busy chanting the mantras.
Request made : Our driver honked and requested the priest to move so that he could park next to the new car.(only parking space available after taking multiple rounds looking for one)
Response received:The priest without batting an eyelid (infact with closed eyes) sucked his paunch in and said  "Nikaal lo "(Go ahead)
Reaction:Me and my sister exchanged amused glances (I promise i did not laugh)
Next scene should have been: A growl/comment of exasperation from the driver .
Next scene was: The driver could smoothly steer the car in.
We(Me and my sis) are now fans of :

• Indian paunch.--Our amused expression had turned into awe . The disrespected indian paunch had now taken a whole new dimension.It can serve as a table top and at the same time the owner can take a deep breath and give the illusion of non existence...even to make a car pass without opening one's eyes.
• Indian driving skills-- Countless tales and hymns have been written in appreciation in history..and history has again repeated itself.

 Afterthought:The priest with his paunch sucked in would make a good poster for bikram yoga studio wall. 

Chase

Baseball and football are in the air .Every YouTube video you stream is first accompanied by initial 30 second of Foosball advertisement which you can’t even skip .All the sports bars and grills are overflowing with sports fanatics who duly tip the bar tender for every touchdown .Our team at work decided to go for a diamondback game as well to Chase field. We all got tickets and duly chose to sit next to each other and avoided the "not so close" to the other end .We wooted our plans on facebook and set off.Correction the whole unit set off, I had a call with folks in UK .The poor chap was supporting me at his midnight i did not have the heart to tell him that i preferred  the game to his status updates(don’t read this blog BOB :)) so i stayed back till i completed my virtual meeting .After the meeting i realized that i had given my car for detailing and viola no mode of transport .I called one of my chums and asked where they were, fortunately the bus had just left so all i had to do was catch up . As i grabbed my Gucci and stepped out of the building spotting the sharp nosed driver with a ruddy familiar Indian (south Asian Indian not native Indian ) face was such a relief.
I got in the back seat and asked him to drive till the destination.
We drove for a couple of minutes and we spotted the white bus , i asked the cab driver to follow the bus. I called my pal to stop the bus but apparently the order of traffic lights didn’t quite agree. There was a time when the bus did really slow down and so did my driver. The bus picked up pace and so did the cab.The bus again slowed down and again so did my driver that's when i realized that my driver was actually just following the bus and not driving so that i could get on the bus.
BA-DING!!
Oh man .I clarified and the bus did pause and the driver (i have no clue why) chose to halt the cab right in front of the bus at an angle (rajnikanth style).I was aghast, what if the bus driver had not completely pressed the brakes, i would have been dog luncheon .I looked at the driver ,he  had such keen sense of achievement on his face .I am sure he was convinced that his Transporter fatal stunt had stopped the bus ( Sania i know you stopped the bus but his broad smile was too warm to break) . Anyways still in one piece i climbed in the bus and thankfully had a less eventful ride to the Chase field/venue.
The cheerleaders were the highlight of the game. The big screen boomed with scores and recaps and perky sport-o-holics.Our seats were really good in fact i was afraid that if the players jumped too hard their sweat gland excretions could be our popcorn topping .Ew .Ew. Foursquare updates and tags punched throughout the game. After 2 hours of an exciting game

The diamondbacks won .YAYY!!.

I was enjoying the Chocolate covered apple (with sprinkles) stuck in my teeth as I stepped out with my team and guess what, the mascot was giving out freebies to peeps .I took one for BOB (the guy whom i was on call with and missed the bus - before my adventure began).
So friends if your name is BOB as well send me your mailing address and i will pass on the freebies.

And while you are at it could you mail me the 16 digits in front of you CC and just the last 3 digits at the back .What are 19 digits amongst buddies right ? :)

Royal pain--achoo!!

I did not go to the royal wedding .Over the years i've developed an allergy to any form of royalty. Some people are allergic to peanuts, or prawns, or dairy products. If, by mistake, they ingest one of these things their faces swell up, or they break out in spots. In my case, my allergy to royalty causes me to break into a sneezing fit, often at the mere mention of a member of the species.It first manifested itself years ago when i knew a family the head of which had in his youth been an ADC to a Rajasthani maharaja. Every now and then, in the course of general conversation (So hot and sticky the weather is, no?), mention would be made of the maharaja connection whereupon the entire family would apparently be seized by a collective fit of sneezing, all of them going Ziness!, Ziness!, Ziness ! Bless you, i'd say to them. Bless you, bless you.

One day, one of them asked me: Why do you keep saying bless you? Because you keep sneezing all the time, i replied, and demonstrated how they did it: Ziness! We're not sneezing, you idiot, i was informed. We're referring to His Ziness, the Maharaja.It seemed that, in royal circles, the preferred pronunciation of 'Highness' - as in 'His Most Royal and Exalted Highness' - was 'Ziness' with an exclamation mark at the end and an accompanying clicking together of heels. I don't know if it was that particular experience or something else, but i start sneezing when people start talking about royalty. Reason i don't play cards. Can't, what with all those kings and queens mucking about.
Anyway, i'm glad that the nuptials went off without any glitches, or sneezes. Though it all seemed pretty tame stuff, no drama-baji like we have in Indian weddings. No last-minute dowry demands. No bhangra-ing baratis. No helicopters. No shotguns fired into the air, bringing down the stray crow or curious bystander caught in the blast. No wailing pooh-paah cars competing with the wailing of shehnais. No Bollywood starlets doing item numbers.
Still, it was a nice shaadi, and i wish the couple all the best for the future. As and when Mummyji finally steps down, and Charlie-baba ascends to the throne - How will they get him out of the wheelchair and onto it? - Willie will be next in line to be king. Perhaps it's time he began to take a few kingly lessons. True, he'll be king of only a small, wet island largely inhabited by Pakistanis and Bangladeshis who run balti restaurants the waiters of which are rumoured to spit in cheery contempt into the chicken tikka masala that the natives consume with obsessive dedication. But a king's a king for all that, and a little royal tutoring might well be in order. Where should Willie go to get it?
Ever since the French Revolution, royalty keeps a low profile in Europe. As in the case of the midget monarch, Sarkozy I of France, who stands five-foot nothing in his elevator shoes. With the Indian takeover and the booting out of the poor Chogyal, royalty has been banished from Sikkim, as it has from Nepal following popular demand. Bhutan's King Jigme Wangchuk has stepped down for his son (why won't Mummyji take a hint?) and has also announced a rollout plan for democracy. The anti-royal Jasmine Revolution is sweeping West Asia and North Africa. So where can poor Willie go to learn to be a proper monarch? Which is the only country left in the world where dynasty is destiny, and destiny is dynasty?
All right Willie, pop across and we'll try and arrange to get you a darshan of a truly Royal Family. OK, Maharani Soniaji, Yuvraj Rahulji? Ziness! (Damn, there goes the sneezing again.)

Sumac

Thats the name of a Persian spice. I got introduced to sumac on a basketball court.
One of the player's had bought a to-go box for his dinner which ultimately turned into free for all and i guess he did manage to get a morsel. In my defense we had 10 players on court.intrigued by the seasoning i set out looking for middle eastern stores which might have some in stock .i could have ordered stuff from the same shop my friend had got his dinner but the cook apparently was out on a month’s vacation to Iran. After a week of calling stories and walking to front desk with empty hands i resorted to online stores. My experience with online shopping has always been good but i had never entered the territory of online grocery shopping. I ordered a bag from Amazon and marked it 2 day FedEx.I had already already listed down what all i could do with it. My friend who is an atheist was co-erced into observing lent (you leave one thing you love during a 40 day period) by her dear ones and let me tell you she was not happy camper .So on Sunday after her morning service she came to my place with a giant's appetite for chicken. I had baked the chicken sprinkled the sumac (most of it) and set it for cooling while i left to run an errand. lo behold once i came back i had a smiling f(r)iend waiting for me with an empty plate and worse an empty sumac bottle.Arghh ..I have been told that I turned a shade of crimson not existent on a box of 120 box crayon and within 5 min she was ordering another shipment from her android. The shipment for some reason was returned (i blame FedEx) and it was out of stock by the time we got to it again.

The poster on my desk "Everything happens for a reason" did not really cheer me up either.

But last week’s trip to havasui pai falls-a destination you reach after hiking 8 hours downhill in Grand Canyon did lift my spirits. Trust me playing a game of hike on the Xbox kinetic is totally different deal then roughing it outdoors.Our hiking group was let by a native who had Navajo blood in veins and a leathery skin. He had white hair neatly made into a plait tucked in his shirt. His face and hands were marked with wrinkles and sunburns .He might have 3 times the no of candles on his last birthday than mine but his physical health was at its prime. He was a very patient man educating us about the desert blooms and the tricky species during our hike. I am not sure was it the aching limbs that made me forget sumac or the thought that there were no restrooms in the vicinity coz we had taken a wring fork and the nearest one was 1 hour of uphill and 45 min of downhill walk and back.The campfire has always been the best part of any hiking trip for me .The Guide started sharing his years of experience .He pointed at the moonlight cactus which only bloomed at a particular time of the month at night .We sat with our cameras zoomed to capture the rare beauty. While we roasted the chicken we had bought with us he vanished for a while but came back holding dried berries in his hand. He sprinkled some on the cooked poultry.
I took the first bite and my taste buds tingled.

Sumac it was .

Nirvana.

A particular gentlemen confused sumac to be paprika and layered (no he did not sprinkle..just layered) on his meal. Our guide was distracted as he was busy  making sleeping arrangements .So an hour later when we were about to retire to our sleeping bags the man complained of dizziness and his palpation was up. He shivered and was given a blanket. Before we knew 911 was punched on a keypad and a helicopter had swooped down in the valley to give the guy immediate medical attention.He was flown to the nearest ranger station.
Sumac my friends if consumed in large quantities causes dehydration.
I am back at my desk today and I see sumac has been restocked online too .No i do not want to order one now ,I had enough for a lifetime.

Kite calling

This makarsakranti –The Indian festival for flying kites I found myself at the other end of a thin quad lateral / an isosceles trapezoid shaped paper and a will to make it soar in the sky.

Sushmaa holding the flyer and still panting from all the stair climbing but knowing my weakness for jalebi pushed the piece of paper in my face and smiled.Remember the Dhara jalebi add- “jalebi “ that’s how big my eyes grow and light up and saliva glands become active when I think of the delicacy so the invitation to the kite flying festival with jalebi around seemed like the perfect destination for a sunday afternoon.

The event was taking place in a different city –an hour and half drive but "jalebi to khani thi" so in the next 10 min we were in the car and GPS was set to its destination .Green fields flanked the road on either side and snow covered peaks adorned  in the distance – (peaks like Tiramisu with whipped cream on top --ohh yumm) .As we arrived closer to the destination we saw that the sky was full of colorful dots of different shapes and sizes .The venue was a large green field with pebbled pathways .The whole city seemed to be basking in the sun and were busy flying kites and cheering each other.
Me and sushmaa felt a little outnumbered but then we were really not there for a hand to hand combat- infact we were not even competing ..we just wanted to figure how to fly to a kite(and eat jalebi of course).

We took our kite out of the boot and located a spot to start our venture. It was time to implement all the “how to” videos we had seen while driving and make the kite leave the ground .A few futile attempts later, Sushmaa examined the weather conditions with astuteness akin to that of a seasoned gray-locked sailor(its ok sushmaa just watching podcasts does not really make one a pro).I was discouraged a little but then I thought of Benjamin Franklin - he developed all those theories about lightning and electricity while he was flying a kite ,god knows what lies ahead .(Yeh right.. i could discover the solution to WORLD PEACE)
We decided to take a break and were sitting on the footpath (thank fully no red ants around ) mulling our next course of action when one guy was kind enough to come over and help us get started .

Did you guys know one has to loosen the thread when its pointing downwards and pull it when it is in the upward direction. Our faces were glowing when we managed the feat .
Ten minutes of kissing the winds and the villains of kite flying came into the  picture and before we knew our kite was a victim of “Survival of fittest” AHHH
but we didn’t feel all that bad about loosing  because when we went to get our kite back from the ground we actually got a few others as well(no body wanted to pick them and they looked like helpless kittens at a shelter).. so we lost 1 but got 3 more. Am not complaining. :)
We walked proudly back to our car with kites/Trophies  held tightly in our hands.
The jalebi was finished but guess what ..I have a BOX FULL of jalebis (my aunt on hearing our experience shipped one right away from chiacgo ) and am gonna have it tonight ..yehh JALEBiii
:)